I talk about the volume of pain.
There are times when it’s so intense,
when the volume is so high,
that I just wish somebody would come along
and unzip my body and just take it away.
Humankind has constantly tried to define pain.
It isn’t easy.
– Most of the pains that we feel are day-to-day.
And they do resolve.
They’re part of our body’s protection –
making us rest and protect the area
and make sure it doesn’t get infected if it’s a wound.
And so day-to-day pain may be kind of annoying,
but it is really important.
A life without pain would be very dangerous and life-threatening.
– So if I were to tell you
how my pain is at the moment,
it actually feels today
as if someone has tried to put a wetsuit on me.
But this wetsuit is just covered in tiny tacks
that are really, really sharp.
And they’re pulling on this wetsuit all the time.
It also feels as if there are people with drills
on the soles of my feet,
and there are lots and lots and lots of people,
and they’re just drilling into my feet.
And my legs feel really tight,
as if someone’s got giant hands
that are just really, really squeezing.
– So neuropathic pain is really intense.
It’s experienced as almost real events,
like being pinched and squeezed,
very severe, what feel like electrical pulses.
And clinical experts in pain are able to right away identify
neuropathic pain because of these awful descriptors.
The last kind of pain, the third kind of pain,
is really the mystery.
And that is the existence of pain
for which there is no obvious origin.
So that does not in any way mean that it isn’t real.
It’s 100% real.
It’s just that our understanding of our bodies is limited
at the moment, and you can’t find an injury.
So, we’re left with a population of people who are really suffering
from pain, and it interferes with their life,
but we don’t understand where it comes from.
– Pain itself is a hidden disability.
And I think it’s really difficult to get that across,
because you can’t see somebody else’s pain.
I suppose in every walk of life, if you feel understood,
that’s half the battle.
And I think that journey of trying to explain yourself
is a really hard one.
It’s absolutely exhausting.
When you don’t feel believed,
it has such a massive effect on your mental wellbeing
that living with that pressure,
it’s almost just as hard as the pain.
And, well, why should people understand
if they haven’t experienced it?
But also there is the word compassion,
and you’re hoping that there might be more compassion around.
– I think the outstanding mystery
is why is it
that a substantial number of our population
are suffering from pain without any obvious biological purpose?
– I’m not sure that in my lifetime
there’s going to be a magic potion
that suddenly will take all the pain away.
But I think the more that we all talk about it,
that’s where I feel hopeful.
That’s where I can do my little bit.
That’s the optimistic bit.
As for where all the nails and the screwdrivers
and the drills in my feet will go, I don’t know.
But I have to believe that I will find my way forward.
