I found myself dreading going into work.
As soon as I saw the door,
it was like this weight just went onto me.
Inside, it was eating me up.
I was smiling all the time, but it hurt.
It’s taken somewhere
in the region of six years
to be able to really regain my confidence
and get myself back to my former self.
You lose part of your own identity
when you go through this.
How would you define bullying?
Hmm.
So, bullying to one person
may mean something
completely different to the next person.
It is quite subjective
and it can be hard to define,
or even to recognise when it’s happening.
What may seem trivial, such as
just excluding someone from the coffee run
every morning, over time,
that creates a really oppressive working environment.
And then you get the more extreme cases
where there’s verbal, maybe even physical behaviour.
Sometimes people are permanently disabled
with their mental health and they can never work again
Sadly, we have lots of clients who suffer
with suicidal thoughts.
Sometimes people will speak up
and say that something is bullying
when actually they’re really just being managed –
there’s a performance issue.
Assuming it’s a reasonable request from your manager,
then that is not workplace bullying.
But for the most part,
if somebody feels as though they’re being bullied,
that’s the important thing.
I’ve worked at a restaurant
where people used to sing the EDL song.
“If you’re not white, get out.”
Straight away, you know, they find out you’re a Muslim:
“You’re a suicide bomber, you’re a terrorist.”
“What’s he got on his back?”
I’m proud to be who I am, you know, proud to be a Muslim.
I’m proud, you know, that I pray.
I just want to get accepted like everyone else.
You know, not be judged due to colour, due to height
or anything, just go to work
and just have a peaceful day at work.
I witnessed people in positions of power
just yelling at co-workers in front of other people,
demeaning them,
making sexual comments.
When the environment is like that at the top level,
it really does trickle down to every facet of the workplace.
Like, I actually found myself becoming a bit toxic as well.
I had a bit of a mental breakdown.
I think bullying can be so detrimental
and can be so sinister
because it can be just even those little comments
that are meant to chip away at your self-esteem
and your self-worth,
and I think that’s where
it starts to get really dangerous.
I was bullied at work myself,
and it went on for about two years
before I actually felt able to do anything about it.
And ultimately, I had to walk away
because my health suffered
so enormously as a result.
The pressure, the strain,
the extra mental health issues that I suffered
really escalated during that formal process.
It’s trying to speak to somebody
in confidence, preferably somebody senior.
Make sure that those conversations
happen early on about which behaviours
are acceptable and which are not.
There’s usually a formal grievance policy
that you can follow to escalate your concerns
and have them investigated,
but sometimes that might not be the right option
for the employee, in terms of their health.
You’ve got to put your health first,
and only you know what’s best for your health.
Don’t be afraid to walk away
if that is the best thing for you.
Keep a diary, keep a log of events,
because if you do need to seek some legal advice,
then that’s really helpful.
Bullying doesn’t have a legal definition,
which means it’s very difficult to bring a case
unless you do have a psychiatric injury,
whereas harassment cases can be brought under the Equality Act.
A legal definition would really help with those employers
who are not prepared to take the action internally,
and it would give a little bit more protection
for people who want to be able to bring a case.
Because it is so subjective,
I think the courts have struggled
to want to define it really strictly.
There’s a grey area where there’s lots of people
being subjected to bullying that they have nowhere to go,
and the law doesn’t support them.
I think the definition has to be focused
less on what bullying and the conduct is,
or is not,
and more, what is the impact on that person?
We need to look at early intervention
making sure that managers are trained,
they’re able to deal with the people issues
and not just the technical parts
of their roles. But also,
employers need to look at their working practices.
The pressure, the deadlines, the working hours,
the hybrid working, the “always on”.
When people are under pressure, their behaviours will change.
The more that we have conversations
about workplace bullying,
the greater the awareness is going to be.
And then people will feel able
to recognise it earlier,
to define it, to speak up against it.
Not just for themselves, but for others as well.
