if I hear another peep there’s gonna be
trouble final warning
okay go ahead
okay welcome back to the program we’re
talking with my special guest finn the
human hello
[Applause]
now fan before the break you were saying
something interesting that you’re
getting out of the romance biz so what
happened well i don’t want to bore your
listeners
but let’s just say the time has come to
stop dating princesses and return to
saving them and you’re not just saying
that to uh make yourself seem more
attractive yeah of course no games going
on here hold on hold on what’s that
noise I think it’s someone’s knocking at
the door can you see who it is yes dick
so it’s going pretty good huh yeah but
maybe we should stop talking about this
love junk and get back to adventuring
finn jake i need your help it’s an
emergency now we’re talking don’t cry
slime princess we’re at your service
I need finn to marry me
I’m sorry sp but I’ve given up the
dating scene you don’t understand if i
don’t get a husband I’ll lose my kingdom
I’ll do it what did i tell you
[Applause]
please let me explain
recently my much younger sister blagatha
married a slime rogue named guillermo as
a result elder plops decreed that if i
was not married by tomorrow rule of the
slime kingdom would pass to my sister
which I’d be like totally fine with
except I recently discovered they are
both evil
evil to the core they plan to militarize
the kingdom and begin a campaign of
aggressive conquest sacking our
neighboring kingdoms stealing their
resources and eventually taking over the
entire world
ew finn this will happen unless someone
marries me no
please finn i know I’ve crushed on you
in the past but our marriage will be in
name only hmm
wait I’m coming too I’m gonna eat
popcorn and make hilarious jokes
oh wait all my popcorn
call this a room not even a window uh
wait are we rolling
how much farther this
popcorn’s not gonna last all day
all right now up mike we’re here
welcome to my little oasis in the
wasteland
oasis more like no oasis
whoa this is amazing
you okay buddy you could say I got out
of there in the lick of time zing
quickly we’re already late
this is the most important place in the
kingdom the royal palace no it’s where
me and all my main splirts hang out hi
girls
[Music]
tree trunks and mr pig what are you
doing here oh we always come here when
we want to shake it fan it’s the only
triple cray rated disco in all of ooh
get your face pretty thin my people are
already assembled in the courtyard
greetings loyal slime jacks
i would like to introduce my new husband
find a human
what did i tell you a piece of cake
attention my loyal slime jack it’s
blargather and that’s the mysterious
guillermo he hails from a far away much
more somber slime kingdom where people
have strange customs and no love in
their eyes their discos aren’t even
rated one cray my husband would like to
say something
and uh he would too if and not for his
extremely sore throat so i will say it
for him we challenge you to the trials
of glarb
i object ancient traditions such as the
trials of glob are no longer relevant in
our modern self-indulgent society order
order i demand order i elder plops being
the coolest guy in the room will settle
this dispute the matter will be settled
on the battleground all right the
battleground of love oh the couple that
i deem most truly in love shall rule the
slime kingdom for life
plops out
[Applause]
this is like the opposite of what you
wanted
welcome everyone to the trials of gular
hosted by me elder plops the first trial
will be crooning
